Extreme Ownership and Radical Responsibility

522 - Taking extreme ownership, understanding my clients don't pay my bills, owning that where I'm at or where I'm not is my fault is a great episode on self leadership and radical responsibility.

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Transcript

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I've heard from two coaches in the last probably two weeks, and they both said something similar to the fact that if you're not where you want to be, it's your fault. If you are not making the sales and the revenue that you want, it's your fault. And at first, when I heard this, I get triggered. And I think that we should always be open to being triggered, because when we are triggered by something, it's an indication of, oh, I probably need to work on that. I need to work through that. I need to feel the feels in that, and really decide, why do I feel this way? Why did this trigger me? And so that really got to thinking, because I was like, Do I agree with this? Could I say this to my clients, right? Like it's your fault if you're not where you want to be? And I think before we can ever say that to anyone that is a harsh statement to make. First of all, I'm going to totally own that, which I think is why I was triggered about the statements. But and also, if I'm not where I want to be, it is my fault, like I can own that. If I am not getting the results that I desire. It's my fault. I can, yes, blame it on the algorithm. I can blame it on my audience. I can blame it on the economy. But at the end of the day, blaming and making excuses doesn't equal the results. So it's like I get to decide, as a CEO, as a business owner, am I owning this? Am I owning that? It's my fault? Am I taking radical responsibility? Because when I can take radical responsibility, what does that also give me permission to do? It gives me permission to make a change, to take action, to do something different, to go all in in a different way, to stretch myself, to get uncomfortable. You know, is it is it anybody else's fault if I'm not as visible as I should be? No, it's not. Is it anybody else's fault if my offer is not as clear to them and they under and they don't understand what the results? No, it's not my person's fault. It's my fault, right? Is it the wind's fault that my revenue isn't where I want it to be? Nope, it's my fault if I decide to take, I don't know, a social media break and I complain and I don't get the results that I want. Again, whose fault is that it is mine. And so there's a book I don't remember who wrote it. I think he's a marine or somebody in the military. It's called Extreme Ownership. And although I haven't read the book, I've heard enough about it to understand the premise, are we taking Extreme Ownership for our results and or lack thereof. As a business owner, I think a lot of times we think it's going to get to this point where it's going to get easy. Let me explain what happens when that happens. So I remember when I first hit six figures, and I started thinking, this is easy, because I had so much momentum built up, right? But what happened was I actually started slowing down, so I actually stopped putting the output out. I was like, Whoa, I could take a break. Now it's like, climbing to the top of Mount Everest, and you're like, I did it. I made it, and I'm just gonna sit here. But there's always a bigger goal. There's always so that momentum that you created to get you where you want to go is only going to get you so far again. Extreme Ownership, radical responsibility. I can sit here for a second, and I can take a breather, and I can enjoy everything that I'm seeing, but I'm going to have to get back up. And whether I'm going down the mountain, whether I'm going down a different path, I'm still going to have a journey, right? Because sitting back, collecting the paychecks, collecting the revenue, doesn't get you to your next level, and so I think so many people this is one of the reasons, when I rebranded the visible CEO, or rebranded to the visible CEO, I don't think I've even talked about this on this podcast. I'm going to have to do a podcast episode. Podcast episode on that. But that just happened in August, and one of the reasons that I wanted to make one of my values is self leadership. I talk about personal power a lot, and I believe self leadership is very close to personal power, very similar, because I am owning what I do. I am owning what I don't do. I'm taking personal responsibility, and I am not making excuses or putting blame or playing victim. Early in my business, I like to play victim a lot. Why is she getting that? And I'm not I've been working harder than her. I can work harder than anybody. I can out. Work anybody? Why am I not getting the results right? That is victim mentality. It is victim mentality. And I used to love being there. I didn't realize it was victim mentality, and I didn't realize what I was doing. But that was a story I love to play in my head, and it kept me at a level that was never going to expand me. And until I got over that victim mentality and got out of it, there was no way I was making it to six figures and making the revenue that I desired. Until I got out of it, I had to get over my little pity party self. I had to get through all my over emotional self, not saying you can't be a great business owner and be emotional. However, when you live in your fields all the time, right? And you can't step out of them to take the action again, it was my fault. I was where I was at. Now, sometimes I think in business, there comes a situation where we honestly don't know. You don't know what you don't know, right? It was like I didn't know, you know, my first business, back in 2012 I didn't know what visibility is. I don't even understand what, understood what brand awareness was. I didn't understand the capabilities or the possibilities that my business, you know, my business partner and I could take the business and also, I also didn't want to get out of my comfort zone. So when we split the money every month, like after, we had so many expenses, we actually made really good money. But we had so many expenses because we kept saying yes to every product and every cent that everybody wanted, there was maybe a grand left. And when your partners, you gotta split that grand. So we're working like 5060, hour weeks, going to shows, toting stuff, buying all these supplies, living in my basement, making this stuff, coming up with new recipes, trying to do the marketing, trying, trying to do everything else, right? And although, from afar, we looked very, very successful, but we weren't. And also I wasn't willing to get out of my comfort zone, because I didn't know the possibilities. I didn't know it was possible, and I was also afraid of what was possible. I had so much fear of success and and becoming famous and so many things, right? But it was my fault. What I didn't know, technically you can say wasn't my fault, but I wasn't going to find the answer either. When you can own that things are your fault, not in shame. It's just data, right? It's my fault. It's my fault. This situation didn't go down the way I thought it should. It's my fault. I did not handle it well, right? This offer did not sell the way I thought it would. It's my fault. Take ownership. What could I have done differently? Or what will I do differently? Next time, you know, I talk to my inner circle clients about this. You know, when I notice something isn't selling, it's my fault because I didn't get clear. I didn't get clear on the result, I didn't get clear on the transformation, I didn't get clear on the person I was talking to. I was not clear. And so if I'm not clear and I don't have clarity on something, how is my audience going to have clarity? On something that's my fault. It's not my audience's it's not their responsibility to fill in the blanks or make it up in their head what they think. It's about connecting the dots that I give them, right? And so this magical thing happens when we take Extreme Ownership when we are truly in our self leadership, meaning, I go first. I don't ask you to do anything. I go first. I'm never going to say, go do this and I have not done it. I go first. I am my evidence. I am my proof. I'm not asking you to do anything until I've done it first. And it's this interesting thing, right? Because I was so triggered by it's your fault, and maybe it's that I don't want anybody telling me if it's my fault, but also I will own it at the same time. I can tell me, I tell myself it's my fault, but I want anybody else to tell me that I tell me that, because I want the opportunity to take extreme ownership of it. However you look at it, what can you look at in your business and say, and raise your hand and say, It's my fault. It's my fault. You know, it's telling my inner circle too that, you know, I haven't I 2024 has probably been the least amount of visible, like that. I've been like I've been least visible in 2024 than probably any other year in business since I started getting visible, right? And I've still been very successful. However, it is also. Fault that I haven't been more visible. I can make all the excuses in the world. I can talk about all the emotional pain I was going through. I could talk about all the things that happened in my family. I could talk about all these things, but the end of the day, it was my fault. As a someone who is is so into personal power, and someone who's so into self leadership, I make the decision, am I going to change this, or am I going to continue to go down this path? So I hope this episode may be a little tough love, but I really wanted to take you through the journey of things are my fault, right? I'm owning, Extreme Ownership. What's my fault? And I'll leave you with this. I had a coach a couple years ago. This also triggered me when she said this, and then I was like, Oh, my God, I love this. You're so right. She said, It's not my client's job to pay my bills. Cool. How's that one? How do we swallow that? It's not my clients. It's not my client's like responsibility to pay my bills. It's my responsibility to pay my bills. Again, another fault, Extreme Ownership situation, because if I have a client that is late on their payments, right, does that mean I'm late on all my payments? Well, technically, I could say and use that as an excuse, and I could say, I'm going to be late on all my payments because my clients late on their payments, or I can understand that my clients don't pay my bills. I do. I pay my bills. I take Extreme Ownership. That's why you never settle right for the clients that you have. You always build a pipeline. You're always marketing, you're always growing, you're always increasing your visibility. So where can you acknowledge raising your right hand and declare where I'm at is my fault, my visibility situation is my fault, my content situation is my fault, my selling situation is my fault, my bank account is my fault. And then at the same time, after taking Extreme Ownership of that, owning the action steps that go next, having the radical responsibility, the understanding that the inspired actions are going to take me where I want to go, and because it is my fault, and I am taking Extreme Ownership, and I am a I'm a very self led person. I'm the one who gets me out of this way before the Taylor Swift song, one of my favorite quotes was, I am my problem, and I am also my solution. No one's coming to save me. I have to get up, dust myself off and do the work. Where are you ready to start taking Extreme Ownership? And what is your next move? If you love this episode, make sure you share it. Tag me. We are doing a giveaway every single month, and I would love you to be the the giveaway winner if you do share it, if you want to reach out to me and share your takeaway from this episode or or any ahas that came up, I'd love to hear that as well, and I cannot wait to serve and support you in the future.