Own The Spotlight, BE The Main Character with Kala Simmons

Discover how to break free from the sidelines and confidently step into the role of the main character in your life. In this episode, Kala Simmons shares her top tips for building emotional mastery, setting boundaries, and creating a life you truly love.  Find out more about Kala below.
 
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Transcript

0:02

Music. Welcome to today's live. I am bringing you another guest, another visible CEO of her industry, and I cannot wait to bring her on this series is important to me, because I really want to bring visibility to some of my favorite clients that agreed to do this with me this week, and so I'm super excited to bring on the one and only the visible CEO of the main character energy, Kayla Simmons, thank you so much for joining me tonight on a Sunday night. This is, like, the perfect time for people to, like, be introduced to Kayla, because what is happening on most to most people on Sunday night, they're just, yeah, yeah, and like, they're thinking about change, and they're thinking about all these things. I didn't even realize that we did that, but that that works. I'm down with that. So. So anyhow, thank you so much, Kayla, for saying yes to coming on live. And I would love you to just do a quick intro and tell my audience who you are and what you do. Hello. I am super excited to be with you. I love any opportunity that we get to sit down together. My name is Kayla Simmons, and I am the main character coach. I empower women to rewrite their narratives, start living as the main character of their life, and walk in their highest potential. And that literally means that if you are living a story right now that you do not love, that you're not wild about, I encourage you and empower you to make the necessary changes so that you absolutely love the life that you live. Yes. I mean, what a what a thing to say. Like, how many people truly just go in, the day in, day out, and are just like settling Yes? Or think that's the way that life has to be. It's a story that we're passed down from generation to generation. So it can be super scary to start over, but one day, I was just not content to live that way anymore, and I've made it my mission to make sure other women know that you can live differently so you are a life coach. We call you the main character coach. To those of us that know you can you like, go a little deeper and explain to my audience what that what what it is that you do right a little deeper on the main character side of things, and how you how you can serve and support them. Oh, absolutely. So when I say main character, I know lots of people kind of get a negative connotation, and they're like, Oh, so you teach people to be selfish and stuck up. No, ma'am, self care is not selfish. What I teach people to do is to take charge of their story. And so perhaps that means they need stronger boundaries. Perhaps that means they need help with emotional mastery, not flying off the deep end. Perhaps they are overwhelmed with how to be I gotta be a mom and I gotta be a wife, and I have to be able to go to school, and I'm trying to get the promotion at work, and I'm trying to study. I teach you balance and goal mapping and recognizing that you owe it to yourself to live the life that you desire, and so it might look different for each person. I've got clients on every end of the spectrum. I've got college students when we're working on discipline and studying and going to school and sports. And then I've got women who are working on a weight loss journey. And then I've got women that are in basically confidence coaching like teaching them the skill set to speak up for yourself and recognize when something is not okay, and feel comfortable airing that out, even if it's just in a journal at first, or talking to me just having the strength to say, this isn't cool. Okay, now, what are we going to do about it? So, lots of different ways to work with me, but basically it is taking whatever it is it's nagging at you, kind of like you have like a tag in your shirt, like it's nagging at you, it's getting on your nerves, figuring out what we need to do to cut the tag out so that you can move through life much more smoothly. Yeah, so is there like a sign, or what would you say that's like, something that sticks out to people that they know that they're ready to start working with a life coach. I think that that would be different for each person. But lately, I've been thinking of the girls that come in. They're just like, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. And they're like, I'm at my wits end, like I need something like this is not working. Or the last girl that started working with me said, Something's gotta give. I'm not exactly sure what I need, but something's gotta give. I'm not happy, and I'm like, Okay, well, tell me a little bit about this. It boiled down to like, not having the appropriate communication skills or the confidence to say what she wanted. And so I'm like, we can work on that, like that. We can work on that. But it's that feeling of I was made from. More like life is not supposed to be. You just go through the motions and then you die. Like, if you have that nagging feeling of, there's gotta be more than this, it's an excellent time to sit down with a coach and to figure out, like, No, you shouldn't always be a hot mess. No, you shouldn't always be fumbling through your goals or feeling like things aren't working out every single time you try something new, you shouldn't be like, Oh, I never should have tried that. Like, there's gotta be more, yeah, and it'll be an excellent time to sit down with me to chat it up. I love that. And they can always just like, reach out to you. They don't have to make a commitment to to get on a phone call with you, right? No, yeah, absolutely not. So I actually have coffee chats. So if you're new to my community and you're like, Okay, who's this girl, you can set up a free 15 minute coffee chat with me, and basically we just kind of go through, like, what's going on with you, and I'm like, Okay, this is the best fit for you in my community, or I can direct you to some of my podcast episodes or some of my other content. So just because you reach out and ask a question doesn't mean automatically that you're going to enroll in something. It's if you need some guidance, to be an excellent way to get your foot in the community. So one of the things that you talk about is emotional mastery. And how does emotional mastery if you don't have that skill set, or you've never learned that, how does that prevent you from being the main character of your life? Because, girl, I live so many years of my life as a hot mess. Express like my emotions ruled me. And so you've heard the term making mountains out of molehills, right? And so I would get so fired up, and my feelings were so hurt, or things were so bad that I would ruin the experience, or I would ruin the moment. I couldn't enjoy the vacation, I couldn't appreciate the gift, like just little bitty things. And so either you're, you are the main character, or your emotions are so it's kind of like, how are we going to you don't want people walking on eggshells all the time when you show up. That's how you not get invited. So learning to manage your emotions allows you to still experience it, but then you know what to do with the emotions. So if you're always on one end of the spectrum, like either things are the greatest or the worst, you can't enjoy life like that, because everyone, including yourself, is standing around waiting for you to explode or fall apart. That's That's insane, because, like when you think about it, there are so many people, and I don't know if this is part of the emotional map, emotional masteries that we call it, that you talk about, but that can't let things go, yes, and we hold on to things for weeks, for months, for years, because we desperately need a villain. And it's like, if you let this go, you can move on about your life. Because, trust me, whatever happened, those people have let it go. They're happy, they're moving on. You're the one who's stagnant and stuck. Yeah, do you help people too, because I think a lot of times they are, they're stuck as far as anger against someone that hurt them and they don't want to ever say the word I forgive you or forgive somebody, because they don't you know that person doesn't deserve it. Like do you see this a lot in your work? I see that a lot in my work, and we talk very frequently about how most of the time the anger is not necessarily with the person that you currently think you're angry with. It relates back to something that happened in childhood or a previous relationship or something way down the road that you had pushed to the back of your mind. But this is a convenient time to get super mad, and when we fail to forgive people, we just hold ourselves back because you're the one who's in Walmart, like ducking and dodging behind the stuff, you're the one who's not going to the events, you're the one who's sitting out. So it's kind of like, Is it really necessary to be right? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be free? Like it's your choice. And so when you put it in that perspective, people are like, I guess you don't have to be best friends. Forgiveness does not mean instant access, right? That doesn't mean we reconnect. It just means I'm allowing myself to move on. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. So what? When you help someone and they feel like stuck or unsure about what they want from life, like, how can they get an indication that I need a life coach? Because I feel like a lot of people, again, just feel that stuckness or indecisiveness of what the next move is. Yeah, so two of the first questions that I ask coaching clients are, who are you and what are your core values? Because so many of us, we just become whoever we are told to become like our family said that we do this, we grow into that. We go through the motions. You said Groundhog Day. I say hamster wheel like this is just life. This is what we're doing. So I always ask, who are you? And I don't want to hear like I'm a mom or I'm married to this person, or this is my job. But no, at the root of everything, who are you? Like, if you lost your job and you didn't grab that degree and you didn't have any children, who would you still be? I want to know, right? And then I want to know like your quarterback, what do you stand for? And when you don't know those things, it's really difficult to navigate life. It's really easy to fall apart or feel that your entire existence is dependent or hinged upon this marriage or this relationship or this job or these other things. And so when you find out who you are, your life changes. And when you find out what you stand for, there's your vision. That's when you can start mapping out what you want. So if somebody truly doesn't know who they are, like, they can't really answer that question, that's like the number one sign that it's time to call Kayla. Oh yeah, oh yeah, because we can figure it out. And I was over 30 before I figured it out. So it's not like it's too late. I hear that. Oh, well, it's too late for me. Says, who? Who told you that? I asked my client that? Oh, who told you that? So it's never too late to start discovering who you are. It's just it's time to get started. Yeah. So what type of person would you say gets the most out of your coaching, like, who is your dream client? Mm, hmm. So my dream client is the girl who looks in the mirror every single day and she's wondering if she's enough, the girl who is looking for that sense of worthiness, the girl who's had a lot of failures in life, and she's feeling like, you know what? Maybe this is just the way stuff is supposed to be. But she has that little tinge of hope in her heart that maybe, maybe it could be different. That girl is my girl, that girl who, when she wants to speak up for herself, she gets a frog in her throat, but she's like, if I say that, people are going to get upset. I don't care. Let them be upset. Like, I love the kind of girl who wants more, but it's just on the edge where she's, like, if I jump, who's going to be there? Coach K, I'll be there. We'll be fine. We'll do it together. But those are my people, the people that they want better for themselves, but they just don't know where to start, because I'm a ground up coach, like, we literally sit down. Like, week one, we sit down. I want to know you, like, how do we get where we are? What do you want for yourself? And then we start mapping out what that looks like. And then we can make a plan, yes, yes, I love that. I love that. And then, how? Like, when people work with you? Obviously there's calls. I know you have different ways, and we'll, we'll go into that in a little bit. But there's also work right on their end. Just don't talk to you, and life gets amazingly better. I mean, it could, you could shift their perspective, but they still have to do work. Yes, they still have to do the work. And that looks like being accountable for your actions. That looks like showing up for yourself. So one of the things I say is, like having a morning routine. I can teach you what my morning routine is. I can make you a video with a cute little voiceover. If you're going to hit the snooze button 50 times, your morning routine is not going to be great. So you have to do the work. You have to set those boundaries, having that willingness to miss out so that you can get forward in life, and it's not always pretty. I tell people most of the time, it gets worse before it gets better, because when you start standing up for yourself and setting boundaries and saying, No, people are like, Who is this person, and then they start to test you, and that's when you're going to be like, I knew I shouldn't have hired a coach. No, you should have, because people, people who act that way were benefiting from you not having the boundaries. That means it was necessary. That means it was necessary. Yeah, that's so good. So when it comes to working with you, like, what does it look like? I know you have many different ways, but because the excuses you probably get is, I don't have the time. Um, I don't have time to work on myself. I've tried things before and it hasn't worked. So like, when somebody works with you, what does that look like, and how do you help them overcome all those objections that they're going to have? Yeah, so I have lots of ways to work with me, just like you said. So I have one on one coaching, which looks like zoom calls and telegram access. Telegram is a free app that you use on your phone. We can voice text back and forth. You can ask me questions. You can get three days a week, or you can go up to the next level, and you have all five days a week. And then I have group coaching, which is like the green room, which is a group of women. I do exclusive content in there, and it's group coaching and live Q and A's. So if you're the kind of girl who was like, I don't know that I necessarily need one on one, but I would be interested in getting some stronger skills and boundary setting and overcoming people pleasing and setting goals. The green room might be for you. The. It has that group component of community and learning from other people and sharing your mistakes and getting that, like, closer access to me. And then I have just backstage with Coach K, which, if you just want, like, an accountability drop you want to be able to check in, ask some questions, get some access to me. You could do it that way. So it just depends on your needs. So if you're a super busy girl, minimal commitment backstage, if you're like, you know what? I know I need to step it up. And I'm not really quite sure I want to do one on one the green room. And then if you're a girl who's like, I'm a VIP, I need you in my pocket. I need you in my ear. Like, I want you to talk to me all the time, then you want to, want to do the one on one? Yeah, I love that. Let's you mentioned something that we haven't talked about yet. I think it's important to bring up, like, how important is accountability? Yo, you are 95% more likely to reach your goals with accountability. So like, 42% if you write them down, and then 95 if you have an accountability partner who does not want those odds. Like, why would you not give yourself the best shot at reaching your goals? And like, I can't tell you how much it helps me to just have you in my pocket. Like, if, if I'm doing something, I'm like, You know what? I just I need someone to tell me I'm not crazy. Or I need someone to tell me that this is a mistake. You'll say, Well, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but is this what you want? Just having that person to be like you said, Kayla, that you were going to go live. I haven't seen you on Tiktok lately. You said, Kayla, like, that is so impactful. Like it has literally shifted my whole business, my confidence and the way I show up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, and it's interesting, because I think a lot of times people think, well, I'll do it on my own. But then we look at, what is it the first the second Friday of January is, like, national quit day. Yes, people are already done. They can't even make it to the second Friday. Like, are you kidding me? Like, that is why accountability is huge, right? Because we given our own devices. Well, it's easier to quit than it is keep going. Yes? Well, we also have that upper limit issue where things are going really well, and then we're like, Oh, crap. What am I doing? Way up here. Let me sabotage myself. So when you have that person that says, hey, you're doing excellent, what happened? Someone to just remind you of what you wanted so that you you're not just accountable to you. Because if I'm just accountable to Kayla, nobody knows that I didn't do it. When I have someone else out there counting on me and cheering me on, then I have to step it up. Yeah. And I think the thing is, too is, is like you, you need accountability. I think we all need accountability, but also you get so used to it that you actually start taking more radical responsibility yourself. And I'm sure you see this in life coaching, too. Mm, hmm, yes. I think when people hear accountability, they automatically think discipline. Because you get in trouble, you gotta be held accountable for something, and it's no, no, I'm not holding you necessarily accountable. I'm checking you on what you said, on being your word to yourself are, do you really want this? So it's not about being disciplined. It's about are you truly devoted to what you said. Yeah, and I talk about this a lot, and I obviously, Kayla goes really deep. I know when it comes to building confidence, but like, if you can't be your word to yourself, you're going to struggle building confidence. Like, and I don't think it's like cheating. It's not cheating or taking the easy way out to have accountability, because it's actually hard to work, because it's actually hard to work, because somebody's going to be there making sure you're checking the box you said you wanted to check. Yes, yes. So true. Oh my gosh. I love this conversation. You know, we could talk like all day, right? Yes. Okay, so next question, because we're shifting into we've been talking a lot about the visible CEO of your industry, and becoming the visible CEO of your industry. And so I would love to know how has getting visible supported you in your business, and then what has surprised you about getting visible, being or getting visible, because at this point, like, I'm not being, like, I'm visible, but at this point I am visible, like massively visible. It's wild. Um, and so getting visible has transformed my business in the amount of people, in the reach that I have for people that I can talk to, um, the Ivory Coast. I have people in Africa that listen to my podcast, like people all over, right, so that's wild to me. Blows my mind. It's increased my revenue, it's increased my confidence. It's increased the way, like, everything has, like, just 10x since joining your programming and just starting to truly embody who I was born to be, right? Like, I initially was like, Oh, this is really hard. And it's not that it's really hard. Hard. It just requires discipline. It requires devotion. It requires you showing up. Whether there are two people or 2000 people, right? And so that right there is kind of like the once the momentum is going then you experience that transformation. You're like, yeah. What has blown my mind is when I walk into a restaurant or the mall or somewhere, somebody's like, Coach K and it's like, Hi, who are you? It never gets old, though, because it feels like I impacted them in some way that they know who I am. Or at my corporate job, when I'm coming in on the unit and someone is listening to a video for motivation, like on, you know, it's so it makes me all teary eyed, because it's like, that's what I want for people, when people are feeling discouraged, when people are feeling down, I need them when they need that dopamine hit to get through. I love that. It's Coach K that you want to go to, like, you know that I'm going to have something to say that's going to push you forward. I love that absolutely. So I have I'm gonna ask you, like, tough, emotional question. Okay, I'm pre framing here. Okay, so I've coached Kayla for a while, and sometimes, you know, we have conversations, and I say, just step back a little bit. You can step back. You're so visible, you you don't need to show up every single day like this week, because you're dealing with XYZ. However, Kayla almost always continues to show up. And I would love to know what is the conviction that is driving you to continue to show up for your audience, no matter what true story. I say this very frequently, but I recognize that I am the sunshine for some people. And so even if I'm not feeling great, even when the sun's not feeling great, and it's not out in for a Blair, it might be behind the clouds, it peeps out just long enough so that you know that they're there. And so I recognize that I bring the sunshine like I pack the party. And so even if I don't feel great, I'm going to post a reel. I'm going to hit you with a quick one liner. I'm going to do something so that, you know, I'm still there. And then I go and do what I need to do for my self care and to recharge and to get myself together. But I never want a day to pass where I could have shown up just in a small way and transform somebody's life, and I chose to stay silent. I just don't want that, and that's how we create impact, yeah, by showing up and saying yes to to our person who is going to potentially see that piece of content, that video, that day. So what would you say to someone who was on the fence? Obviously, we have a program coming up on the sixth, the week of the 16th. It is a free program. It is eventually going to be a sold program, but it is called, become the visible CEO, basically, of your industry. And so if somebody was on the fence, and maybe they're an introvert, or maybe they think I get on video every once in a while, can you just, like, explain, like, what, what this can do for them and their business? I will say that I joined a $7 offer in Crissy programs a year and a half ago and flew up the ladder, and it has monumentally changed not only my business, but my life. And it all started with willingness to get on camera, willingness to show up, willingness to fail, if you will actually apply the things that you are taught in these trainings. It can change not only your business, it changes you, and that is the key to building an empire truly freaking good. So there is a link in the in the comments, and if there's not, we'll put one in there to join this program, because I think it's going to be so life changing again. This is going to be a free program. Eventually it's going to be, get paid, be paid. Um, it's going to be three, probably four days. Um, you will have limited time access to the replay. So I'm super excited about that. But while we're on the subject, we have a birthday girl in the house, yeah, so it is your birthday this week, and you have some amazing special offers, yeah, that you would love to share with my audience. So I'd love you to share em and talk about em really quick I do. So my birthday is in December, and all December birthdays, I know y'all can relate. It was not a huge deal growing up because Christmas is coming, right? So as an adult, I celebrate my birthday all month long, and I thought about my audience. I thought about my like ideal client, and how could I pour into them? And it's December, so it's the perfect time for you to gear up and step into your main character era. Everybody else is going to be. Claiming to change their life, right? And so you've been saying the same thing since, like, 1998 this is the year we're actually going to do it. And so I've got birthday offers. I've got simple stuff for the girl who's looking for a quick start. So you want to transform your life in 90 days, I got you. And then I've got a program that's got three master classes bundled together. And so it's the transform your life in 90 days, the program that is literally the main character master class, like the foundation of my coaching. And then we saw because we talk all about emotional mastery, because you cannot be out here changing your life and losing it, no crashing out on my watch. I've got on the go coaching, which would give you a sample of what it would be like to work with me in that app, in the telegram app, so you have me in your pocket. If you've got questions, you can see clarity. We can work on your goals. We can just literally anything. So I just think that this is an excellent time to become the main character of your life, to get the support that you are seeking, and it's a birthday offer, right? So it's only in town for the holiday, the holiday being my birthday, and then we're on to the mix, well and and honestly, like, How amazing would it be to know that you have your coach for 2025 like, you know that change is going to happen in 2025 that you're not just saying, Oh, I'm going to set a new year's resolution or a world year that you forget about by the second Friday. Like, literally, you're going to have if, depending on which offer you go for, you could have Coach K in your back pocket and ask her questions, or say SOS, yes, yes, I'm literally about to quit. Tell me why I shouldn't help me, help me off this ledge, and that is like an amazing tool to have. Like Kayla is an amazing life coach, and I know how many people that she's helped serve and support. And again, I know that whatever your goal is. And here's the thing, sometimes, when I go after big goals, even though there might be a business goal, I hire someone, like a mindset coach or somebody to keep me going it. You know, when you want to go after a big fitness goal, hire somebody who can help you again, it's not just about the thing that you're doing. It's about here, because 80% is our mindset, whether or not we succeed. 20% is strategy. 20% is the action. 80% right? So this up here gets us to stop doing things quicker than anything else. So we gotta protect this, and we gotta get somebody to help us protect that, because we like to tell ourselves the things that aren't helpful, and that's that's where you hire someone like Kayla, and she can literally be like, okay, is this true? Is this fact, or is this just a story you're telling yourself? So you can quit, because it's easier, you know? And obviously she does a way better job than that. I'm just still in that example there, but make sure you connect with Kayla. We will drop all of her information. Is there an easy way to find you everywhere? At Hey Coach K, okay, on Facebook, on Insta and on Tiktok, it's Hey Coach k1 but I'm the first one. If you put h Coach K on it, my face pops it so, yeah, awesome, awesome. I'm so excited. Anything else you want to share before we go? No, I am just super excited to see all kinds of new faces in the program that is coming up. It like lights my soul on fire, to see new people come in. Because I not only see the transformation in myself, but I love your community so much, and I love seeing the transformation in other people, in their businesses like it. It never gets old, never I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Alright, um, make sure you connect with Kayla, and I will drop all of her information, and we'll drop a link for her birthday offers as well. And make sure you reach out to her, at minimum, follow her, because she's going to be the sunshine in your feed, like she just said, You're she's going to bring so much brightness to your feed and just like, make you smile, sometimes call you out, sometimes make you feel like, Oh, get out of my head. But that is the one thing that we need more of when it comes to our news feed. We need to get rid of all the negativity and find the people who call us up and call us out like we need it. All right. Thank you so much. Kayla, I appreciate you coming live with me today and make sure you connect with her. All right. Bye, bye.