Let Them, But Don’t Let Them Stop You: Showing Up in the Face of Judgment

In this episode, we dive into the fears and negativity that hold entrepreneurs back from showing up authentically online. Learn how to embrace your uniqueness, silence the haters, and boldly step into your purpose, no matter what others think.

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Transcript

0:01

So last week end, when Tiktok was banned for what was it? 12 hours, I saw some really sad comments, and I reacted very strongly to them. And basically people were saying that now people would need to go get a real job using a different app called the indeed app. Now this really ticked me off, because who decides what the definition of a real job is? Who? Who owns that definition? Because I believe that every real job, it has a place in the marketplace. That can be a nine to five, that can be a salary position, it could be a side hustle, a work from home, owning a business, entrepreneur, CEO, whatever you want to call it, influencers, getting brand deals like again, whatever it is you have taken the time to build a platform right, to get visible and put yourself out there. But it really showed me how many people still have this underlying feeling about people who don't have traditional salaried, hourly jobs in a building? I remember years ago when I was a recruiter and I was like, whenever I would need to work from home, it was like, so, like, everybody was so like, When are you coming back in the office? When my kids sick? Like, it was so like, I don't know. I just felt like they didn't think I was doing my job. I actually got more done at home than when I went into the office. And it just got me thinking about the thoughts of entrepreneurs, the thoughts of people online, the thoughts of people growing businesses online, and how so many people still do not support that model, which led me into thinking, remember, back in the day, back in 2016 I was afraid to get on video, because I was worried about what people would think. And although I think it shifted a little bit. There is valid reason for people to still have those fears. And it's really sad to me that people act like this. But I think we have to, I know we have to take a deep breath and really think about the person that said said thing. First of all, I just unfollow this person. I'm just like whatever. We're not. We don't need to be friends. We don't, we don't align. But if they would have said it to me, what would I have done if I was maybe an influencer and only on Tiktok, like, what would I have done? And I felt very protective over my own clients, because so many of them have different you know, some of them were full time employees got laid off, right? And they had a business, and they really went all in on the business and blew it up. And also, we have people like teachers and nurses, even right and they they use these platforms to supplement their income, but they got out of their comfort zone and decided, no matter what anybody else thinks, I'm going to show up. I'm going to put myself out there. And as entrepreneurs, this is one of the biggest fears that I've always seen, that people are worried about what people think, and then we get visible, and then you're worried about, like you're still worried about what people think. So you water yourself down, or you say what you think your audience wants to hear, versus really getting to know them, or you're trying to market to everyone. So we're so watered down, and we're so generalist, right? And we're so to the point where I don't want to exclude anyone, because that could create haters. I don't want to like talk to one person, because that'll that like eliminates like, half my audience. Like, I don't want to, you know, instead of wanting to talk to that specific person, we again, let those fears of what people will think and listen. Most of the people who are going to have a strong opinion about what you do don't even know you, and they are most definitely never going to pay your bills. I know there is a big fear of hated on and canceled when it comes to social media. I remember asking my kid when he wasn't doing well in college, and I said, Can you explain to me that you know when the. People invite you, you know, and peer pressure you into going to parties instead of doing your homework. Are they going to pay your bills? Because I'm pretty sure they're not going to. So if you got to listen to somebody, you should listen to your mother, who says, Go to class. But it's like, I've always said that right, like I don't care what you say, I might you might have more influence on me if you pay my bills. But also my husband tried to influence me, and he didn't do very good job either. So he is eventually came around, right and saw my vision, and saw what I was doing, and it just makes me really sad that we cower, we water ourselves down, we don't show up to our full authenticity of who we really are because of that fear. You know, I remember in high school, and even I mean, all throughout school, not wanting to be different, wanting to be the same, wanting to fit in. And I have never in my life wanted to be so much different from everyone else, since when I finally turned 40, it was the most liberating thing, like when I bought a pair of boots, and I was so excited about them, I'm scrolling through social media and I see somebody that I know buys the same boots. I take my boots back because I don't want to be the same. I don't want to be the same. I don't want to dress up with other people like I really do want to be unique and different. And it's just hilarious to me how that changed and how that evolved. Whereas back in the day, I wanted to fit in and I didn't want to be different, and today, like, please let me be as different as possible. Let you know someone that I know says, Let your freak flag fly. And it's so true, because the more unique you are, the more memorable you're going to be, the more unique you are, the more you're going to connect with people on a deeper level. This is not the best example, but it's a great I mean, it is example, but I remember somebody told me I was weird because I liked room temperature water, and I went and put it out on social media, and all these people liked room temperature water, and I'm like, I'm not weird. I thought I was weird. I thought I was the weirdo, right? And all these people love room temperature water. It's not just me. They don't want ice in their drinks. They don't want a cold bottle of water. They want their room temperature. One. Every time we do a retreat and I get bottled water, we'll put some in the fridge. And I'm like, okay, these over here, they're staying they're staying room temperature. We're not putting those in the refrigerator, because I'm not going to drink them. If they are, they're cold, I'll need to set it out and let it get to room temperature. But it's just again, one of those things that there are so many people that have similarities to you. Yes, there are going to be people that think you're weird. Yes, they're going to be people that think you're crazy. Yes, they're going to be people that think you're delusion, delusional. But own it. Own it. You know, we can sit around and be so scared and fearful of what people are going to think of us. But you know, our days are numbered. We, we don't have an we. We all have an expiration date. We don't know what that is, but we all do, and it's like, why are you going to live this way? Why are you going to continue to let people push you down cower Have you cowering down? Have you watering yourself down and not showing up as the full you, the full authentic you, the full real you, the full hot mess, you, whatever you You are, right? And all this does is it affects your competence. You don't know. You don't even know who you really are. You don't even know how you would really show up on social media, because you have played a part for so long. People who copy other people online, they're not true to themselves, and if they copy people enough, what's going to happen is people are going to pay them be like this is nothing like I saw online, because they can't deliver without copying either. So whatever has been holding you back, whatever has kept you from showing up as the real, authentic you whatever has that fear that that that fear of getting canceled or hated on in the back of your mind, do it anyway. You know, I love, I'm finishing up. Mel Robbins, let them book, but I love, and they're. So actually, great points in there too. Totally. Highly recommend you read that. But even 54321, the five second rule, go do it, and then if somebody complains or somebody hates on you, let them. Let them. I had some comments going underneath this post about national security, that's not my expertise. I'm not trying to be a national security expert. That's not my thing, right? And it was like, do I delete these? Do I stop this conversation? This is not really what my post was about. My post was about people saying that entrepreneurs, influencers don't have real jobs, and so that's what my post was about. And then there was all this other conversation underneath. I was like, You know what? Just it's, let it go, let them, let them have their little conversation. I get paid for my posts on on Facebook, so continue to have whatever conversation you want, you're making me money with 35 comments and five shares and 40 some likes, right? And so let it go. Let it go, like Elsa said, but let them, let them have their conversation. It has nothing to do with me. I'm not. That's not what this post about. My post was about protecting the people that I care about protecting the people who want to be business owners and are holding themselves back already because of people's feelings and thoughts and negativity. And so I really want to the reason I created this episode was really for you to take a stand, make a decision that you're putting yourself out there, make a decision that you're not going to allow other people to hold you back, water you down, because guess what, at the end of the day, they will not pay your bills. And I don't care if you're like, Oh my gosh. What? If that could have been a customer. They would never if they say something negative, they would never be willing to pay you a dime. So do not allow that thought to go in your head own who you are, show up as her, and don't stop you may get hate. You may get negativity. Do it anyway. Let them have their feelings. Everybody has very strong feelings online, because it's way easier to be a keyboard warrior. And most of the time, if you go to that person's Tiktok or Facebook, there's zero videos and probably not a picture of them either, because it's easier to attack somebody else and not go out and create their own content. So let them, but don't let yourself give up on your dream because of silly little things that may or may not happen, and even if they do, you'll be okay. I.