I Didn't Get Picked… So I Picked Myself (And Everything Changed)

 I share the moment I wasn’t chosen for a major opportunity — and how that rejection forced me to stop waiting and start owning who I was. It was the turning point where I stopped hoping to be picked and became the one who picked herself first. If you’re still waiting for permission, this message is your wake-up call. 

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Transcript

0:01

I'll never forget the time that I wasn't picked for something. Now don't get me wrong, there have been many times in my life that I haven't been picked, right? But one time in my entrepreneurial life, I was in a mastermind and I had been in this mastermind about two years. And there was an opportunity to have a partner program and basically, the coach was helping everyone that got selected. I think there were three or four people that got selected. Go to a million dollars. and I remember applying and I don't wanna say knowing I would get selected, but thinking that I was a clear choice. And I didn't get selected. And I had to sit with that and I had to do a lot of work on that because a lot of times we think... If someone picks me, if someone says yes to me, that validates me. That shows me that I'm. where I think I am, or I'm as good as I think I am, or I'm as strong of an entrepreneur as I believe that I am. And although thinking and also believing and validation are all good words that I do love to use, it's a big game changer when you take belief to knowing, when you take thinking to certainty and when you take that validation and you decide to validate yourself and stop waiting on everybody else to do it for you. I obviously wasn't picked for this opportunity and I was really sour about it for a little bit. that's something I had to work on. And today I can tell you that I'm so thankful I didn't get selected because when I wasn't picked, right, it's like, brings up all those probably childhood wounds. We go back to gym class and... dodgeball was like a huge thing when I was in gym class, right? And so you always pick teams and I was like always picked the last because I was not athletic. And you know, we start to compare ourselves when there is a picking situation, right? And what do people not see in me? Like what's wrong with me? And we start doing these things. The same thing probably happens to you as well. Maybe you talk to somebody about joining a program or working with you in close proximity and then all of a sudden you see them pay somebody else, right? Maybe they tell you you're too expensive and they go pay someone else. And you start this whole like ripple effect of domino effect rather of really questioning what's wrong with me. Why not me? And I asked myself that a lot. And then I decided that you know what Why are you waiting? This is really where my waiting came from because I was a, used to be a procrastinator and I would wait on everybody, right? And I stopped waiting and I decided you could have been picked or you can just go do it yourself. And so this opened up so many things for me. Obviously I went through my business. got really successful. I made money that I had never made before and really blew my own mind. But looking back, I can see that number one, I didn't believe that I was the right person. I was hoping hope strategies don't work by the way, but I was hoping that somebody would validate me. and show me that I was worthy, that I was good enough. I was hoping that somebody else's belief in me would make my own belief stronger. And what happened was that moment really showed me. I always say and I tell my clients this, can borrow my belief, but you can only borrow my belief for so long. and I could only borrow somebody else's belief for so long. I, at some point, had to make the decision that my belief and my knowing and my certainty was my own. because no one can do it for me. I had to say yes to myself before I could expect anyone to ever say yes to me. This is very true in the online space. This is very true when we're selling. And so if I'm not gonna choose me, if I'm not gonna have certainty and faith, right, why would anybody else? It doesn't make sense. The math doesn't add up, the math's not mathing, right? And so when I stopped waiting to be invited, I built my own stage. Every post, every live, every offer, it wasn't about being picked anymore. It was about becoming undeniable. It was about becoming the one for the person who was my person. Not the one for everyone, I'm not the one for everyone. You're not the one for everyone. All you need to do is be the one for you, what your purpose is here, what you're convicted about, and the thing that you're known for. And so that rejection, definitely wasn't the end because I blew my own mind in what I was capable of in that whole entire process. It was really the true definition of me in my refining era of where I started refining the content. I started refining the visibility, the video, the emails. I really started paying more attention to what I was doing, refining it, owning it, more than just believing it, having that certainty. and understanding that if I want to be picked. that I gotta pick me first. No one's gonna pick me if I don't own who I am. And so maybe you're still thinking or you're still waiting, why not me? And maybe the better question is, when are you gonna choose you? Because when I chose myself first, when I validated myself, when I became my own evidence, everything changed. The ripple effect from that was powerful and magical. When I showed myself, I can put myself, I can have a commitment and I can keep it. I can give myself a challenge and I can move through it. Selling online got easier. Showing up online got easier. Because I said yes to me first. I'll never forget about two years after this happened. I was at an event with this coach and we were in the bathroom together and we were walking out just talking and chatting. And I said, I just want to thank you. I said, I was really mad that you didn't pick me. And I said, but I know I wasn't ready. I had a lot of work to do on myself that I didn't even realize at the time, but that forced me to make some big decisions. It forced me to really look at my business and how I show up, my emotional intelligence, my certainty, my evidence as a whole. And that moment of not being picked, I would say save my business because I don't know if I would have gotten that gratification, instant gratification, whatever you want to call it. I don't know that I would be in business today because I would still be waiting to be picked again and waiting to be picked again instead of standing in my own power and standing in my own knowing and standing in my own certainty and standing in my own conviction. And so when you think about it like this, this is a game changer and this is why invisible and in demand, not going to wait to be discovered. We're not hoping to be discovered. We're going to become known. being visible is truly being known. And obviously being in demand means people choose you, people find you, people demand you to be whatever it is that you do. And so this is really the work where you are going to sell without having a shaky voice. You are going to own who you are and what you do, your presence and how you show up online. This right here, this face to cam is the most magical, the fastest way to really build trust with your audience, but if you are doing even little things and You're not grounded in the conversation audience is gonna fill it and So when your message gets remembered not just seen. You become unforgettable. And the truth is your business can't afford to keep hiding. And yeah, maybe you're as visible, maybe you're on video every single day, but there's something that's hiding in you, about you. And maybe it's that fear of being, of not being chosen. but it's time to own the rooms that you're walking into. It's time to own the videos that you create. It's time to own and know with certainty that the content you create is life-changing and that things that you do will ripple off, like have a ripple effect that outlasts even you and some people's lives. So when you're ready, to join visible and in demand. This is the next program we start this week. I'm super excited if you're doing this with us live. And I know it's gonna be a game changer and I know it's gonna take your content, your visibility all to this next level. This isn't about, let me show you how to push live. Let me show you how to record a video. This is so next level. Because if you have the foundations of you're already on video and you're already consistent, this is going to take you to the next place. And I cannot wait. to serve and support you because I know what this work does.