Being Seen vs. Really Being Seen: Breaking the Pattern to Build Momentum

If you’ve been doing all the right things, posting consistently, going live, showing your face... but still feel invisible, it’s time for a pattern interrupt. 

Join Momentum here https://thevisibleceo.com/momentum2025

Don't forget to share this episode and tag me @itscrissyconner on Instagram and @crissyconner on Facebook to be entered to win!

Transcript

0:01

So many people wanna be seen and they're not being seen. And the simple thing is, is that it is all in your control. Not the algorithms, not waiting on somebody to select you to be a podcast guest. Like it is all in your control. And what I see happening is people wanting to get visible or wanting to be seen, but not wanting to create their own stage that is available to them on every social media channel. And I want to go deeper on this because I know I've said this before, but it's worth saying again. You get visible. You don't get the results. You pull back. or you get visible and you get stagnant, you're bored with your own content, and you expect somehow magically for your audience to not be bored when you're bored. For your audience to want to take a chance on you when you aren't even taking a chance on you. We talked about this today in the first momentum call and it was really about breaking the pattern. And so many times we talk about this in social media about being a pattern interrupt. And we talk about changing locations and standing up and, you know, maybe wearing something you don't normally wear, wearing something bright. So there are those types of pattern interrupts and there's an energy pattern interrupt. It's like when someone walks into a room, and you feel their presence as soon as you walk in, like you literally turn around and you're like, what is happening? Who just walked in? Who is that? Like you feel, you feel them. You don't know them, but you feel that presence. And so I want you to ask yourself, are you bored? because if you're bored, you're probably also boring. And that's not to be mean, it's to call you up because as long as you continue to, I don't know, do the same thing over and over and expect different results. that you're not having any fun? You don't feel activated in what you're doing. You don't feel convicted in what you're doing. You don't feel passionate about what you're doing. What do you think the person on the other end of the screen that is looking and scrolling through social media is going to feel? Nothing. So it's time to break the pattern. There is this thing that we eventually get comfortable on video. If you're not there yet, trust me, it'll eventually happen. oh However, once you get comfortable on video, it's time to stretch yourself to the next level. It's time to push yourself to the next level. In momentum, we're talking about this because you can do the same thing every single day and technically create momentum. You're consistent, you do the thing. But again, if it's a Groundhog Day, are you really creating momentum? If you don't feel anything, are you really creating momentum? That's like going to the gym and trying to create momentum, but lifting the same exact weight every single day. You're not changing it up. You're not exciting yourself. You're eventually gonna get bored with it and stop, but your body is definitely not gonna change because you're doing the same thing over and over and over. Growth doesn't come by saying stagnant. Growth doesn't come by lifting the same 10 pound weight for the rest of your life. It comes by change. It comes by discomfort. It comes from a pattern interrupt in your own life. Break the pattern. And I know it's like, well, I finally got consistent. Isn't that enough? No, it's not. Stretch yourself somewhere else. Stretch yourself in a different way. Get out of your comfort. Stretch your edges. Be audacious. Be bolder. Take a chance where you may actually get rejected. Somebody may tell you no. I love this book called Rejection Proof and he goes through and he asks like all these insane requests. His goal is to get rejected 100 times. And then he starts being surprised that people stop actually rejecting him and doing the things he asked for. He goes to a donut shop, I think Krispy Kreme, and said, can you create a set of donuts? I'll pay for them. He said, but I want them shaped like the Olympic. rings. I think that's what they're called. They're the circles. And so they had to cut the donuts and put them together in order to make this. They said, sure, just give me a few minutes. And he was like, my God, I can't believe you're going to do it. Like, you're going to tell me no. But he also went to places and said, can I have a discount? They were like, no, we're not giving you a discount. But he tried and he got rejected that many times because he was willing to put himself outside of his comfort zone. Most of us are not willing to, you know, risk Losing followers risk putting ourselves out there because we don't want to get canceled. We're afraid of all the things we love perfection We're trying to be perfect even though we're never gonna be but we like to strive for that We are worried about what people will think what people will say about us Just go do the thing I Did 126 lives in the month of March. No one understood why I was doing that They didn't need to understand why I was doing it. The fact is I set a capacity goal for myself and I went after it and I achieved it. Because I don't wanna be the same every month, I don't wanna do the same thing every month. In the month of April, it wasn't live video, but it was a video and selling twice a day or talking about an offer twice a day. Making an invitation twice a day. Like Myron Golden says, you wanna make more money, make more offers. So where are you stuck and stagnant and it's Groundhog Day, but you're actually not doing anything about it, but showing up, pressing the record, pressing the lie button and saying the same boring crap you've been saying forever. Now I like a repetition strategy and I think you should have a repetition strategy. However, you don't need to say it the same way every single time. You don't need to say it with the same energy every single time. You don't need to say it with the same emotion every single time. I used to tell people I could tell my story in every different way. My story, my origin story, I could tell it sad where I could have a tear coming out of my eye. I could tell it and make it so funny where I'm like making fun of myself. I can take you through the journey and help you feel it as I talk through the camera, like help you pull out pieces of your own life where you felt the exact same way. You don't have to say it the same way every single time. You don't have to say it in the same place every single time. You don't have to make the invitation the same way every single time. Where are you not being more authentic? Where are you not being more vulnerable? Where are you hiding as you're visible? Where are you not breaking the pattern because of fear? And you love that comfort zone. Video's easy for me. my gosh, it's so easy. Okay, then find a way that it's not easy. Find a way that'll stretch yourself. I went through all my videos in March and I watched the majority of them back. I notice things. Do know how hard it is to critique yourself? In some of the videos, I was talking to a guy, I did a podcast guest interview today, and we were talking about putting the transcripts into ChatGPT and let ChatGPT roast you on basically the things you say and the way you say them. Let it tell you where you're too redundant. Let it tell you where you couldn't get off, couldn't get off, get to the point, get to the point fast enough. Let it tell you how many times you say um. Let it tell you your favorite words. Mine are like and right. I love saying those words in my videos. It's uncomfortable to improve. It's uncomfortable to pay attention to that stuff. It's uncomfortable to say, uh, yeah, I think, Oh no, actually I know to correct yourself on my video. But I do it. I teach it and I do it. we were talking about invisible on demand because I taught years ago, for years I've been teaching this, there was a study done about YouTube Ted Talks and the ones that went viral, which means 10 million plus views, they move their hands about 600 times in, I think a Ted Talk is like around 20 minutes. So the 600 times or more. And so I moved my hands a lot. And sometimes I move my hands too much because of that study. And I get to remember that there's a time to move my hands and there's a time not to move my hands. And it was interesting because so much of business is a contradiction, right? So many things that you do in your own business is a contradiction. On face value, I would tell most people to do X, Y, Z, but if I know your business inside out, I may say, don't do that. Because the strategy isn't one size fits all, but I can't go around teaching strategies. because for every business, if I don't know your business. So there's dualities, there's contradictions. But again, I own it. I told my clients, I know this is contradicting what I've told you. And also some of you need to move your hands more and some of you need to stop. Stop moving them so much. So I want you to think, you know deep down inside what that edge is and what that stretch is and what that push is. If you feel like you're not being seen, but you were showing up on video consistently, then something is not working and something needs to shift. And most likely, it is connected and tied to your comfort zone and your comfort level. I stretch myself all the time. It's really hard not to say words that I love to say that I don't even think about. But when you put more intention with the way that you show up, when you put more intention in your tonality, when you put more attention in the pitch and the speed of your conversation, when you put more intention with the conviction, um here, here, the conviction and the soul that backs up everything that you say. It might be a little uncomfortable, but dank, it's powerful. It makes you feel activated. So what are you gonna do? You're gonna activate your audience in the process. So I want you to think about this. You're being seen, but are you really? You're being seen or you're bored. You're showing up to be seen, but nobody's acknowledging that you're showing up. what's not working after consistently trying it for 90 days. If it's not working, switch it up. And regardless, doing the same thing over and over and over again in a sea of noise and never changing it up, again, duality, probably gonna contradict myself here too, switch it up. Switch it up so that you can attract and serve and support the people who need you. It's not necessarily about you being seen. It's about them being seen through the things that you say. And if you're technically not being seen, how can they be?